I've been asked lately about how to know when a girl or guy is interested, or if they are just being nice. Where does the line come between being "busy" and "unavailable" to "I'm just not interested in you?"
Good question right? So what is the answer?
I hate to admit it, but females are the worst at this. Guys are pretty straight forward and their feelings are a little easier to decipher. (most of the time)
Girls love attention. I can't tell you how many times I have seen the scenario: a couple dates, texting everyday, invitations to hang out, lunch - all the while the girl is eagerly going along with it. Then when the guy feels like its time to move forward a bit, the girl runs the other way and suddenly becomes "busy."
Girls - what are you doing? Stop and think to yourself for a brief moment. Don't act surprised when a guy wants to move forward in what he thought was the beginning of a relationship. You were eating out of his hand. Texting everyday, going on dates and hanging out says, "I'm interested."
If you are not interested - say so! Who wants to be led along, waste their time, energy, emotions and small budget on a girl like you?
Guys - if a girl says she isn't interested, or isn't returning your phone calls, take a hint. Life is too short to be pining over one girl the rest of your life. Pick up the pieces of your heart and start giving them out to new options. You are still a great catch to another girl and she is waiting to be noticed.
Tried and Truly Yours,
Anabelle
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
This post is dedicated to all those who have loved and lost.
I have a friend I met at college a few years ago. She is a beautiful, confident and strong woman. She knows her limits, and uses her strengths to bless and encourage others. She never complains, but instead shares her blessings.
She is the mother of a young son named Hayden. He is her life. Everything she does is for him and she treasures the fact that he is hers forever.
Beka is different from most college students. you wouldn't pick her out of a crowd, or be amazed at what she has accomplished. She is just like the rest of us, except that Beka is a widow. A young widow.
Her and Hayden have been on their own now for over 3 years. She has graduated with her bachelors and continues to set high goals for herself. She looks outward instead of inward and has become one of the most beautiful people I know.
I wonder how many nights she has cried herself to sleep, missed the warmth of her husband and longed to laugh with him. I wonder how many times she has felt alone, not understanding God's perfect plan, and why it is so perfect to him but not to her.
I wonder how many moments she has stopped and remembered the way it felt to be taken care of instead of her taking care of everyone else.
Beka is one of my heros. Of all the people I know, Beka is one that has loved and lost.
She is also the one that has lost all her love in the service of others. Her talents in art, languages, laughing, listening and encouraging have made her one of the most beautiful woman in the world. Not just to me, but to everyone who sees her heart.
In a world where everyone wants to be loved and receive relationship advice, the best advice was given by Alfred Lord Tennyson.
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Thank you Beka. May your life be filled with as much love as you give.
I have a friend I met at college a few years ago. She is a beautiful, confident and strong woman. She knows her limits, and uses her strengths to bless and encourage others. She never complains, but instead shares her blessings.
She is the mother of a young son named Hayden. He is her life. Everything she does is for him and she treasures the fact that he is hers forever.
Beka is different from most college students. you wouldn't pick her out of a crowd, or be amazed at what she has accomplished. She is just like the rest of us, except that Beka is a widow. A young widow.
Her and Hayden have been on their own now for over 3 years. She has graduated with her bachelors and continues to set high goals for herself. She looks outward instead of inward and has become one of the most beautiful people I know.
I wonder how many nights she has cried herself to sleep, missed the warmth of her husband and longed to laugh with him. I wonder how many times she has felt alone, not understanding God's perfect plan, and why it is so perfect to him but not to her.
I wonder how many moments she has stopped and remembered the way it felt to be taken care of instead of her taking care of everyone else.
Beka is one of my heros. Of all the people I know, Beka is one that has loved and lost.
She is also the one that has lost all her love in the service of others. Her talents in art, languages, laughing, listening and encouraging have made her one of the most beautiful woman in the world. Not just to me, but to everyone who sees her heart.
In a world where everyone wants to be loved and receive relationship advice, the best advice was given by Alfred Lord Tennyson.
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Thank you Beka. May your life be filled with as much love as you give.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Team Peeta or Team Gale?
With the release of HUNGER GAMES this last week, girls are starting to take sides on the controversial question: Team Peeta or Team Gale?
For those who have read the books, it may be harder to take a side. The intense love triangle makes it hard to be on either team. But for those who have seen only the movie, choosing Team Peeta or Team Gale may be just a matter of preference between blonde and brunette.
Who would you choose if you were Katniss Everdeen?
Elizabeth Banks, who plays Effie Trinket in the movie recently shared which team she is on while visiting the Ellen show. See the video below.
Don't forget to leave a comment on Askanabelle-
Team Peeta or Team Gale?
For those who have read the books, it may be harder to take a side. The intense love triangle makes it hard to be on either team. But for those who have seen only the movie, choosing Team Peeta or Team Gale may be just a matter of preference between blonde and brunette.
Who would you choose if you were Katniss Everdeen?
Elizabeth Banks, who plays Effie Trinket in the movie recently shared which team she is on while visiting the Ellen show. See the video below.
Don't forget to leave a comment on Askanabelle-
Team Peeta or Team Gale?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Should a guy always pay for a date?
You are on your first, second, third date.
Who grabs the check? Does it matter who asked out who?
Check out the video below and share your story with Anabelle at askanabellehere@gmail.com or comment below.
Who should pay for the date?
Who grabs the check? Does it matter who asked out who?
Check out the video below and share your story with Anabelle at askanabellehere@gmail.com or comment below.
Who should pay for the date?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Virgin Lips
Dear Anabelle,
At 23 I have still not had my first kiss. As I have yet to find out what is wrong with me or all the boys around me, I have decided not to fret. The story which I would like to share with is, therefore, how I successfully avoided a miserable first. Before I begin, I wish to make it clear that I am not a guiltless victim of this date.
I tend to be very trusting. I am grateful for the safety with which I have been blessed, even in my stupidity. As I was preparing to serve a mission, I was working two jobs in the mall. As I worked at one, a young man, "Joe," asked if I had a sister who worked at the local grocer. As my younger sister who looks a lot like me did work there, I assumed that he worked with her. Because of this assumption, I accepted when he invited me out on a date. He was nice & even offered me a ride home from work as I was getting off shortly. Before leaving the mall, I stopped by my other job to check the upcoming week's schedule.
One of my co-workers looked uncomfortable and I asked her what was wrong. "My crazy ex-boyfriend just walked in." Looking around, I saw only Joe. I brushed it aside, knowing that she tended to be overly dramatic. He took me homee. Confession. Perhaps because of lack of experience, whenever I am confronted with any kind of undesired romantic stresses, I get tired. The conflict between not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings and making myself deal with guys in whom I am not interested simply wears me out. Therefore, upon arriving at home, I took a nap. When I awoke, my sister had gotten home from work and told everyone about how Joe had gone to the grocer and bought flowers for me. Without telling anyone, my entire family knew about my suitor.
What was he like? Did I like him? Why had I accepted the date? Was I crazy? When he arrived, he introduced himself to my parents. My dad was not impressed by his baggy pants, tie and T-shirt combo, and three-inch tall mohawk, but we went on our way without much embarrassment. He took me through the Wendy's drive-thru and then to a scenic view of the city- make-out point. I was laughing at his transparency.
He tried to sweep me off my feet with lines that I could have sworn I knew from my favorite romcoms. Now I became giggly at how suave he seemed to think he was. When more people showed up, he decided it would be better to go to a more private location. A smarter, more mature me would have said no, asked to go home, something! The me then was enjoying a funny show. At the new location, he serenaded me while playing the guitar.
When I seemed sufficiently wooed, he ever so romantically asked, "Are you a virgin?" Confession: when things reach a certain level of absurdity, I become very detached. "Yes." "Oh, that's okay." "I know." "Have you ever kissed anyone?" "No." He leaned forward, "Kiss me." "No." "Oh. Why?" "I don't want to." I'm sure there are nicer ways to turn down a guy, but frankly, I didn't think he deserved the courtesy. "Ouch." Within five minutes he was complaining of stomach pains. I am inclined to think that he was just trying to get rid of me after discovering that he would get nowhere with me, except for the truly pained expression on his face.
The whole way home, I sat with a simple prayer in my heart, "Heavenly Father, I really don't want Joe to hurt, but I'm glad I get to go home early." When I got home, my mom told me how my 16 year-old sister had first become acquainted with 22 year-old Joe. He had seen her at work and asked her out on a date. She said no. Love, Lonely Lips P.S. I did learn a lesson from this experience. When, shortly after getting home from my mission, I was asked out by a fifty year-old man talking about past experiences in jail, I, for the first time ever, declined a first date.
At 23 I have still not had my first kiss. As I have yet to find out what is wrong with me or all the boys around me, I have decided not to fret. The story which I would like to share with is, therefore, how I successfully avoided a miserable first. Before I begin, I wish to make it clear that I am not a guiltless victim of this date.
I tend to be very trusting. I am grateful for the safety with which I have been blessed, even in my stupidity. As I was preparing to serve a mission, I was working two jobs in the mall. As I worked at one, a young man, "Joe," asked if I had a sister who worked at the local grocer. As my younger sister who looks a lot like me did work there, I assumed that he worked with her. Because of this assumption, I accepted when he invited me out on a date. He was nice & even offered me a ride home from work as I was getting off shortly. Before leaving the mall, I stopped by my other job to check the upcoming week's schedule.
One of my co-workers looked uncomfortable and I asked her what was wrong. "My crazy ex-boyfriend just walked in." Looking around, I saw only Joe. I brushed it aside, knowing that she tended to be overly dramatic. He took me homee. Confession. Perhaps because of lack of experience, whenever I am confronted with any kind of undesired romantic stresses, I get tired. The conflict between not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings and making myself deal with guys in whom I am not interested simply wears me out. Therefore, upon arriving at home, I took a nap. When I awoke, my sister had gotten home from work and told everyone about how Joe had gone to the grocer and bought flowers for me. Without telling anyone, my entire family knew about my suitor.
What was he like? Did I like him? Why had I accepted the date? Was I crazy? When he arrived, he introduced himself to my parents. My dad was not impressed by his baggy pants, tie and T-shirt combo, and three-inch tall mohawk, but we went on our way without much embarrassment. He took me through the Wendy's drive-thru and then to a scenic view of the city- make-out point. I was laughing at his transparency.
He tried to sweep me off my feet with lines that I could have sworn I knew from my favorite romcoms. Now I became giggly at how suave he seemed to think he was. When more people showed up, he decided it would be better to go to a more private location. A smarter, more mature me would have said no, asked to go home, something! The me then was enjoying a funny show. At the new location, he serenaded me while playing the guitar.
When I seemed sufficiently wooed, he ever so romantically asked, "Are you a virgin?" Confession: when things reach a certain level of absurdity, I become very detached. "Yes." "Oh, that's okay." "I know." "Have you ever kissed anyone?" "No." He leaned forward, "Kiss me." "No." "Oh. Why?" "I don't want to." I'm sure there are nicer ways to turn down a guy, but frankly, I didn't think he deserved the courtesy. "Ouch." Within five minutes he was complaining of stomach pains. I am inclined to think that he was just trying to get rid of me after discovering that he would get nowhere with me, except for the truly pained expression on his face.
The whole way home, I sat with a simple prayer in my heart, "Heavenly Father, I really don't want Joe to hurt, but I'm glad I get to go home early." When I got home, my mom told me how my 16 year-old sister had first become acquainted with 22 year-old Joe. He had seen her at work and asked her out on a date. She said no. Love, Lonely Lips P.S. I did learn a lesson from this experience. When, shortly after getting home from my mission, I was asked out by a fifty year-old man talking about past experiences in jail, I, for the first time ever, declined a first date.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Where Have all the Mature Girls Gone?
Dear Anabelle,
I'm about to start yet another semester at this place called BYU-Idaho. I love the college. It's been 6 years since high school, and I am now 24 years old. Every semester I go back I have a ray of hope that perhaps the single ladies I meet will be AT LEAST a year or two out of high school. To be clear, I have nothing against people going to college no matter how old they are but it seems as though all of the single girls I bump into are just out of high school. The pattern is simple, I get older, they get younger. The questions are: Where do I find the older and dare I say "more mature" single girls to date (cue grimace), or have I developed a tunnel vision to look past the freshmen when I should really be open to the younguns?
I invite your insights and impressions :D
Sincerely,
...and open fire
Open Fire,
The funny thing is, you have developed tunnel vision. Just against the girls you are actually looking for. You seem to only find the girls you aren’t looking for, which has a negative connotation for you. It always works that when you think too much about the negative, you only see the negative.
You aren’t the only one thinking, “Where are the mature people?” The thing is, though, they are indeed found at BYU-Idaho. Believe me when I say I have heard many a girl (23 and older) complain that there are not more mature young men to date, and they are just as frustrated as you are. My suggestion is to stop thinking that the girls around you are, dare I say, “immature,” and start looking for the good qualities each one has. This will help you be more hopeful for a good date and help you recognize the good and attractive qualities you want in that special someone. Keep your eyes open and have a good attitude about dating. The better your attitude about dating, the more attractive you become, and the girls you want to date will be attracted to your optimism. Trust me ;)
Tried and truly yours,
Anabelle
P.S. I have it on good authority that there are several mature young ladies 23 and older living in La Jolla…just so you know…
Monday, March 19, 2012
Ten Date Ideas
Sometimes dating becomes routine.
It is important to keep things in your relationship alive and fun.
One way to do so is by making one night a week a "date night." Whether you are married, dating, engaged, dating around, or looking for some fun, a "date night" is the perfect way to keep yourself in tune with the opposite sex.
Write in and share your date ideas with Anabelle by emailing her at askanabellehere@gmail.com or simply comment below!
10 Date Ideas
10. Bowling
Bowling is an old-school date idea that everyone can participate in. A great group date idea for those wanting to get some old friends together or to break the ice with a new interest. Bowling alleys are found in almost every city and the low-stress environment gives everyone the chance to relax and be themselves. Bowling is also a lot of fun - and fun is exactly what draws people together to spend more time together.
9. Hiking
Getting some physical activity never hurt anyone. Exploring the great outdoors can help you learn a lot about a person if this is your first date, and it also relieves stress and gives a couple time to slow down and listen to each other without the kids.
8. Driving Range
The driving range is another outdoors activity that anyone can participate in. You or your date doesn't have to be athletic to have a good time. If your date isn't a great golfer, help her with her swing can be a great opportunity to get up close and personal. If your date is competitive, make bets on who will win and have a little playful competition.
7.
Baking or cooking together gives the couple the chance to learn a lot about each other's interests, skills and personality. It is a fun way to eat and also engage in real conversation you can't have if you are at the movies. You also can enjoy something new together and see what you can create together.
6. Explore your city
Pretend you are visiting your city for the first time. Are there unique restaurants? What is fun to see or participate in? Maybe there is a festival or concert taking place. Some cities offer things only once a year. Make an effort to learn of what makes your city a great place to visit and then do some exploring together. Both of you will have fun exploring things and you will make memories.
5. Scavenger Hunt
A fun and interactive date. A scavenger hunt can be romantic or a fun date night idea. You can spice it up by making it into a theme or taking pictures along the way and later framing one and giving it as a reminder of the time you spent together.
4. Bonfire
Get some friends together, or take a picnic for just the two of you. Snuggle together in a warm blanket and roast marshmallows, make tin foil dinners or just enjoy each other's company as you talk and relax under the stars. See how many stars you can identify and share funny stories or reasons why you love each other.
3. Concert
Whether it's your favorite band, or a local group visiting your city, it is nice to get out of the house and enjoy some music together. There are many venues that allow interaction and dancing during the concert. You never know, you might discover a new favorite together. After the concert, stop by a local place and grab some grub.
2. Service Project
There are a million things to do for others. Family, friends or complete strangers. Visit the elderly, baby-sit your sister's kids, make a care package, do some gardening, make cookies and doorbell ditch them. It is fun to get out of your comfort zone and do something for others. The time you spend together will help you feel gratitude for the good things in your life.
1. Theme Night
Invite your friends over and have a theme night. There are a lot of different themes you can choose from. Drink night, game night, dessert night, culture night, dress up night. Think of upcoming holidays or events that may make an interesting and different theme night. Make sure there is food and drinks and the date night will be something everyone wants to have again.
It is important to keep things in your relationship alive and fun.
One way to do so is by making one night a week a "date night." Whether you are married, dating, engaged, dating around, or looking for some fun, a "date night" is the perfect way to keep yourself in tune with the opposite sex.
Write in and share your date ideas with Anabelle by emailing her at askanabellehere@gmail.com or simply comment below!
10 Date Ideas
10. Bowling
Bowling is an old-school date idea that everyone can participate in. A great group date idea for those wanting to get some old friends together or to break the ice with a new interest. Bowling alleys are found in almost every city and the low-stress environment gives everyone the chance to relax and be themselves. Bowling is also a lot of fun - and fun is exactly what draws people together to spend more time together.
9. Hiking
Getting some physical activity never hurt anyone. Exploring the great outdoors can help you learn a lot about a person if this is your first date, and it also relieves stress and gives a couple time to slow down and listen to each other without the kids.
8. Driving Range
The driving range is another outdoors activity that anyone can participate in. You or your date doesn't have to be athletic to have a good time. If your date isn't a great golfer, help her with her swing can be a great opportunity to get up close and personal. If your date is competitive, make bets on who will win and have a little playful competition.
Make dessert or try a new recipe
Baking or cooking together gives the couple the chance to learn a lot about each other's interests, skills and personality. It is a fun way to eat and also engage in real conversation you can't have if you are at the movies. You also can enjoy something new together and see what you can create together.
6. Explore your city
Pretend you are visiting your city for the first time. Are there unique restaurants? What is fun to see or participate in? Maybe there is a festival or concert taking place. Some cities offer things only once a year. Make an effort to learn of what makes your city a great place to visit and then do some exploring together. Both of you will have fun exploring things and you will make memories.
5. Scavenger Hunt
A fun and interactive date. A scavenger hunt can be romantic or a fun date night idea. You can spice it up by making it into a theme or taking pictures along the way and later framing one and giving it as a reminder of the time you spent together.
4. Bonfire
Get some friends together, or take a picnic for just the two of you. Snuggle together in a warm blanket and roast marshmallows, make tin foil dinners or just enjoy each other's company as you talk and relax under the stars. See how many stars you can identify and share funny stories or reasons why you love each other.
3. Concert
Whether it's your favorite band, or a local group visiting your city, it is nice to get out of the house and enjoy some music together. There are many venues that allow interaction and dancing during the concert. You never know, you might discover a new favorite together. After the concert, stop by a local place and grab some grub.
2. Service Project
There are a million things to do for others. Family, friends or complete strangers. Visit the elderly, baby-sit your sister's kids, make a care package, do some gardening, make cookies and doorbell ditch them. It is fun to get out of your comfort zone and do something for others. The time you spend together will help you feel gratitude for the good things in your life.
1. Theme Night
Invite your friends over and have a theme night. There are a lot of different themes you can choose from. Drink night, game night, dessert night, culture night, dress up night. Think of upcoming holidays or events that may make an interesting and different theme night. Make sure there is food and drinks and the date night will be something everyone wants to have again.
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