Do I move on after a first date or not?

Dear Anabelle,

I have a little trouble knowing when to let go of a love interest and when to keep trying. You see a few weeks ago I went out with a great guy. We had a lot of fun on the date and had great conversation flow. He is just what I have been looking for: very sweet, funny, and gets my odd sense of humor. After the one date we haven't been out again but we have become friends. We text frequently, when we run into each other, we end up talking for longer than we have time for and he never seems to want to leave. Here is the catch. I feel like I have to make all the effort to talk to him and invite him to go hang out. I would have even asked him on a date if I didn't know that he doesn't like girls to do so. My question is if he isn't putting any effort into getting to know me should I just give up?

Sincerely,

Letting Go

Dear Letting Go,

I honestly believe that this generation’s young single adults have forgotten the true purpose of dating. Dating is different from being in a relationship. Dating often leads to a relationship. BUT the whole point of going out on a date is not merely to scope out a potential significant other. Rather, a date (or at least the first) SHOULD be about getting to know someone. So, do not be distraught if this young man has not asked you out again. You have successfully developed a friendship with him and maybe his intentions at the moment are to get to know some young ladies and see what he is interested in. I would not give up on the possibility of a second date. Often, it takes time for someone to come around again for a second date if they are actively dating around. He certainly does not seem disinterested in you if he is putting in the time to talk to you and text you.

In the meantime, do not settle all your hopes on this young man. I would suggest that you keep your options open and date as much as you can and develop friendships with other young men. Truly dating can help you know what you are looking for in a partner. If he does not come around for a second date soon, move on and be grateful for the friendship you developed. This phase of anticipating a second date can be a bit torturous at times. Do not let it get you down. Like I mentioned, a first date really is about getting to know someone.

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

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