Love could be right in front of you

Dear Anabelle,

My dating/love life is a constant joke. I have many guy friends who tell me constantly how awesome, attractive, funny, interesting, smart and what an amazing catch I am. Yet not a single one will or would date me. They even tell me how absolutely astounded they are that I am still single. The problem I have is if I am all these qualities and more why am I single?

I will openly admit that I am insecure when it comes to dating, but am I really THAT big of a joke that no guy will even consider dating me?

faithfully yours,

dazed and confused

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Dear dazed and confused,

I have no doubt that the friends who compliment you mean what they say. Sometimes guys and girls become such good friends with members of the opposite sex that they overlook the wonderful and prominent prospects standing right in front of them - in this case YOU. For whatever reason, we forego dating opportunities because we don't want to "ruin" the friendship, take a step "out of the friend barrier" or lose the person in our life.

The wise council of falling in love with your best friend still stands. It is much easier to spend your life laughing and enjoying the faithful companionship of someone you can trust, then looking for love in money, materialism and sometimes fun.

While these things have their pros, friendship is the endurer in life and will give you the most satisfaction with money, materialism and fun. The guys you are associating with are obviously noticing you, but are not seeing you as a dating prospect.

The best thing for a woman or man to do while waiting for love is to develop the qualities you are looking for in a future relationship. If you are looking for someone patient, be patient. If you are looking for someone kind, be kind to those around you.

When the time is right and the right person is mature enough to recognize you for the wonderful person you are, love will follow. In the meantime, continue to have fun and keep yourself involved. When the time is right, you will be ready and more appreciative for love because you have waited and earned it.

Love life the way you want to be loved.

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

The Coldest First Date

The Coldest First Date
By: Ashley Ruttan


When I first moved back to Lethbridge I lived in a house with seven other girls, it was crazy, but a lot of fun. We would have dinners and other get-togethers at our house all the time. At one particular get together one of our friends brought someone new. A really shy guy with curly black hair who just kind of sat in the corner and didn't really talk to anyone. 

Anyways a few days later I got a phone call and when I picked up the phone it was this shy kid asking me out on a date. Surprised because he never said a word at the party, let alone made eye contact with anyone. He worked at a movie theater in town and they were having a midnight screening of a couple movies for all the staff and they were allowed to bring another person. I said yes. He said great and told me he would come get me Friday night around 10:00pm.

So he shows up on our doorstep Friday night at ten as promised. We step outside into the cold night air of a winter night in Southern Alberta probably somewhere in the region of -25. We start walking when I realized we have been walking about a block and are not getting into a car, not really saying anything I continue walking parking was hard to find near our house maybe the car was just a little further. But no, it wasn't. We walked the whole way to the movie theater which to let you all in on was about 1.9 miles from my home. I tried to make the best of it asking him questions as we walked. He looked down at the sidewalk most of the time and just mumbled one word answers. I tried to keep a smile on my face even though I was sure I was going to lose an appendage of some sort to frostbite at any moment.

We arrived at the theater and just as my ears were starting to warm up so did he. He was talking to the people he worked with and laughing and smiling and introducing me. It took us an hour to get there so we had an hour to mix and mingle with the other people there Now it being a movie theater the majority of the people who worked there were fourteen to sixteen.He and I were 21. Awkward.

But he completely came out of his shell being in a place where he was comfortable which was awesome.Or so I thought. About a half an hour before the movie was about to start he asked me to follow him. We went down this narrow hall and up a flight of stairs into the projection room. Cool I thought as I looked around at the reels of film,the projectors, the couples making out. What the? Yep I had been brought to a teenage make-out party, and as I processed that thought I felt the hand on my shoulder. I recoiled and I began my escape . " Let's go get some sour patch kids!" I said as I booked it down the stairs.I really didn't know what to do. To show how old and Amish I am this was prior to me owning a cellphone. I was trapped at the theater, with no way to contact the outside world.

Now if the date wasn't awkward before it had now reached new heights. We sat down in one of the theaters and we were back to the no talking or eye contact. The movie began to play and I felt relieved. I remembered the scapegoat sour patch kids I had purchased and leaned over to grab them out of my bag. As I sat back again I felt his arm around me. Obliviously we had missed the huge awkward signal I had sent in the projection room. I excused myself to the washroom thinking he would get the hint. As I came back in the theater I sat down leaning away from him. But alas it seems he couldn't be detoured. Despite his inability to have a conversation with me it did not stop him from and awkwardly putting his hand on my shoulder. Lacking a lot of dating experience I didn't know how to maneuver out of this so there we sat like that for the rest of the movie.

The movie ended somewhere around 2 am, phew I made it the date was over! Oh wait no. As we waved to the sixteen year olds passing us in the parking lot we proceeded our walk home. Except this time he was was talking. He told me about how he had watched his cat give birth earlier in the week and how it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and cried while telling me. As I trudged through the snow I longed for the silence of the walk to the theater. Finally with my house in range I told him I could make it from here and that he didn't have to walk me to the door and without waiting for his reply I booked it to my house. 

True story. 

What NOT to say on a first date

There are some common courtesies of a first date. Sometimes they are kept and other times they are forgotten.


Watch the video below to see what not to say on the first date. Write in to askanabellehere@gmail.com and share your first date stories or make a comment!

Drama is not a spice

http://www.ewoodsigns.com/store/pics/Drama-Queen.jpg

You come home one night and notice a group of girls huddled around your roommate.  She is proudly extending her left hand and you notice a diamond ring glimmering in the light, announcing her news.  

This is what many of you will be seeing this semester and this is what many of you will be experiencing yourself.  So what is your reaction?  Do you join in and congratulate your roommate? Do you brush past her and head straight to your room because inside you just can't believe she is engaged instead of you? Do you make rude comments about how "big" or how "small" her diamond is - because after all - that is what really matters isn't it?


Whether you think you fit this description or not, every girl has been guilty of reacting dramatically to someone else's accomplishment.  I'm not sure if girls are born with a drama gland: secreting gossip, jealousy and spite in the blood stream, or if they simply just find joy in creating havoc.  Drama is drama - and it has got to stop - immediately.


Imagine a world where sincere comments, kind smiles and encouragement were given in place of all the drama out there.  Do you like it when you see a girl sizing you up?  Looking you up and down? Whispering and pointing in your direction?  Ladies, these kinds of things are not spicing up your life. They are making you bitter.


My point:  Girls if you want a boyfriend, a best friend or any sort of lasting relationship, get rid of the drama.  A woman who glows with self esteem built by passion, hard work and happiness in herself radiates attractive.  

Are you just being nice?

Are you just being nice?


Do you give your number out "just to be nice?"


It sounds like that may have been the case with the attached video.  


I came across this a few years ago but just thought of it now.  Hope you enjoy it.  For those who are wondering - this is not the kind of guy girls are looking for!


write in and share your stories!  askanabellehere@gmail.com

Age or Maturity?

Dear Anabelle,

Is it ok for a girl to date a guy younger than her? Does age matter, or is it more about maturity?

Sincerely,

Just Wondering

Just Wondering,

Of course it is ok! When it comes down to it, age really means little as long as the person is at the same maturity level as you. Now, there are of course limits in my opinion (a 17 year old shouldn’t be dating a 27 year old), but if there is chemistry, attraction, and maturity, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work. Go for it!

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

Do I move on after a first date or not?

Dear Anabelle,

I have a little trouble knowing when to let go of a love interest and when to keep trying. You see a few weeks ago I went out with a great guy. We had a lot of fun on the date and had great conversation flow. He is just what I have been looking for: very sweet, funny, and gets my odd sense of humor. After the one date we haven't been out again but we have become friends. We text frequently, when we run into each other, we end up talking for longer than we have time for and he never seems to want to leave. Here is the catch. I feel like I have to make all the effort to talk to him and invite him to go hang out. I would have even asked him on a date if I didn't know that he doesn't like girls to do so. My question is if he isn't putting any effort into getting to know me should I just give up?

Sincerely,

Letting Go

Dear Letting Go,

I honestly believe that this generation’s young single adults have forgotten the true purpose of dating. Dating is different from being in a relationship. Dating often leads to a relationship. BUT the whole point of going out on a date is not merely to scope out a potential significant other. Rather, a date (or at least the first) SHOULD be about getting to know someone. So, do not be distraught if this young man has not asked you out again. You have successfully developed a friendship with him and maybe his intentions at the moment are to get to know some young ladies and see what he is interested in. I would not give up on the possibility of a second date. Often, it takes time for someone to come around again for a second date if they are actively dating around. He certainly does not seem disinterested in you if he is putting in the time to talk to you and text you.

In the meantime, do not settle all your hopes on this young man. I would suggest that you keep your options open and date as much as you can and develop friendships with other young men. Truly dating can help you know what you are looking for in a partner. If he does not come around for a second date soon, move on and be grateful for the friendship you developed. This phase of anticipating a second date can be a bit torturous at times. Do not let it get you down. Like I mentioned, a first date really is about getting to know someone.

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

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If you have any comments or questions regarding this post, please send an email at askanabellehere@gmail.com.