Do We Have a Spark?

Dear Anabelle,

Last summer a couple friends said that I should start talking to one of their guy friends. So we became friends on Facebook, started to text and get to know each other. I enjoyed talking to him, flirting with him. We had a lot in common. Our mutual friend said that he would like to give a relationship a shot. I wanted to become friends first.

When we first started talking, I lived out of state. We finally met the following summer at our friend’s wedding. When we met, during that time in my life I was beyond exhausted mentally. My mind wasn't really there. After I left to go back home, his texts slowly dwindled to once a day then once a week. I called him out on it. He said he didn't know if we clicked and he didn't want me to think he was all in.

We hung out again in September. The day we hung out I was sick and there was a huge group of people I didn't know. I don't do well in large groups of people. It didn’t go well. He has barely contacted me. I'll get a "How are you text?" and then nothing. If I text him he hardly ever responds. We saw each other on New Year’s Eve. Things seemed to be going well, but I haven't heard from him since.

I don't know if there is a spark there or not. I honestly don't even know how to tell because I haven't allowed very many guys into my life. I love hanging out with him, but when we hang out or talk it has to be on his terms. It's making me mad and he does give a lot of mixed signals. I don't allow myself to trust many guys due to certain circumstances in my life. I had come to trust him and wanted to at least give a relationship a shot, but I don't want to if he's going to play games. A friend says he is still interested and another one says I shouldn’t talk to him. I have no idea what to do! Help!!

Sincerely,

Confused and at a Loss

Dear At a Loss,

Blind dates and set-ups are tricky. Often upon first meeting, one is interested and the other is not. Then a few months later, it switches. You have now come to know this young man and are interested. He seems not to be at all. Guys are not prone to playing games. That is more often a fault of the female sex.

Even though you seem to have hopes set high on this young man, I believe it is time for you to move on. If there were a real spark, you’d be seeing a lot more of him. I don’t think it was anyone’s fault. There was a lot of bad timing and unfortunate circumstances for the two of you. You just didn’t (like he said) “click.” It is disappointing when that happens, but keep up your hopes. The one who will spark things is out there.

Tried and Truly Yours,

Anabelle