Drama is not a spice

http://www.ewoodsigns.com/store/pics/Drama-Queen.jpg

You come home one night and notice a group of girls huddled around your roommate.  She is proudly extending her left hand and you notice a diamond ring glimmering in the light, announcing her news.  

This is what many of you will be seeing this semester and this is what many of you will be experiencing yourself.  So what is your reaction?  Do you join in and congratulate your roommate? Do you brush past her and head straight to your room because inside you just can't believe she is engaged instead of you? Do you make rude comments about how "big" or how "small" her diamond is - because after all - that is what really matters isn't it?


Whether you think you fit this description or not, every girl has been guilty of reacting dramatically to someone else's accomplishment.  I'm not sure if girls are born with a drama gland: secreting gossip, jealousy and spite in the blood stream, or if they simply just find joy in creating havoc.  Drama is drama - and it has got to stop - immediately.


Imagine a world where sincere comments, kind smiles and encouragement were given in place of all the drama out there.  Do you like it when you see a girl sizing you up?  Looking you up and down? Whispering and pointing in your direction?  Ladies, these kinds of things are not spicing up your life. They are making you bitter.


My point:  Girls if you want a boyfriend, a best friend or any sort of lasting relationship, get rid of the drama.  A woman who glows with self esteem built by passion, hard work and happiness in herself radiates attractive.  

Are you just being nice?

Are you just being nice?


Do you give your number out "just to be nice?"


It sounds like that may have been the case with the attached video.  


I came across this a few years ago but just thought of it now.  Hope you enjoy it.  For those who are wondering - this is not the kind of guy girls are looking for!


write in and share your stories!  askanabellehere@gmail.com

Age or Maturity?

Dear Anabelle,

Is it ok for a girl to date a guy younger than her? Does age matter, or is it more about maturity?

Sincerely,

Just Wondering

Just Wondering,

Of course it is ok! When it comes down to it, age really means little as long as the person is at the same maturity level as you. Now, there are of course limits in my opinion (a 17 year old shouldn’t be dating a 27 year old), but if there is chemistry, attraction, and maturity, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work. Go for it!

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

Do I move on after a first date or not?

Dear Anabelle,

I have a little trouble knowing when to let go of a love interest and when to keep trying. You see a few weeks ago I went out with a great guy. We had a lot of fun on the date and had great conversation flow. He is just what I have been looking for: very sweet, funny, and gets my odd sense of humor. After the one date we haven't been out again but we have become friends. We text frequently, when we run into each other, we end up talking for longer than we have time for and he never seems to want to leave. Here is the catch. I feel like I have to make all the effort to talk to him and invite him to go hang out. I would have even asked him on a date if I didn't know that he doesn't like girls to do so. My question is if he isn't putting any effort into getting to know me should I just give up?

Sincerely,

Letting Go

Dear Letting Go,

I honestly believe that this generation’s young single adults have forgotten the true purpose of dating. Dating is different from being in a relationship. Dating often leads to a relationship. BUT the whole point of going out on a date is not merely to scope out a potential significant other. Rather, a date (or at least the first) SHOULD be about getting to know someone. So, do not be distraught if this young man has not asked you out again. You have successfully developed a friendship with him and maybe his intentions at the moment are to get to know some young ladies and see what he is interested in. I would not give up on the possibility of a second date. Often, it takes time for someone to come around again for a second date if they are actively dating around. He certainly does not seem disinterested in you if he is putting in the time to talk to you and text you.

In the meantime, do not settle all your hopes on this young man. I would suggest that you keep your options open and date as much as you can and develop friendships with other young men. Truly dating can help you know what you are looking for in a partner. If he does not come around for a second date soon, move on and be grateful for the friendship you developed. This phase of anticipating a second date can be a bit torturous at times. Do not let it get you down. Like I mentioned, a first date really is about getting to know someone.

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

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If you have any comments or questions regarding this post, please send an email at askanabellehere@gmail.com.

Ditched on a date

Dear Anabelle,


My awkward breaking up story . . .

So I had been flirting with this guys and we had gone on a few dates, but he turned out to be a huge jerk! We were on a double date one night at a street fair in our town.

He told me he would be right back, so I was chatting with the other couple trying to make conversation with them because I didn't know either one of them very well.

Well right back turned into never! I was now the third wheel to their date.

We continued to walk around the fair and we see the guys I was dating holding hands with another girl and kissing her. I was so embarrassed! Luckily the other couple felt bad for me and kept me company the rest of the evening and gave me a ride home.

Lets just say we didn't talk after that.

From, Ditched on a date

(Ditched on a date is now happily married with her second child on the way.)

_____________________________________________________

Dear Ditched at a date,

Sounds like you dodged a huge bullet without even realizing it.

Any guy who is willing to cheat on you, is willing to cheat on anybody -eEspecially on the girl who now thinks he has left you for her.

A little embarrassment now verses a lifetime of regret, hate, and an unfaithful marriage.

You have shown many others that it is possible to find true love if you stick it out and wait for the right one. He'll come, and the wait will be worth it. Congrats on the new baby coming!

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

Happy Valentines Day!

Dear Anabelle,

In my days I have had many different types of breakups. The first was when i was in third grade and I had a crush on the hottest girl in our class, Janelle Carney.

She was tall, blonde, and preppy. I had been waiting for the right moment to present its self so that I could ask her out and then it hit me that I could ask her on Valentine's Day! On that day as I walked down to the bus I stopped at every house and picked fresh flowers and made a bouquet, my hands were so sweaty that when I would cut the flowers off I would inevitably cut my hand on thorns as I attempted to arrange the roses.

Once I got to my class room I saw here and our eyes met immediately, I took one big gulp and walked up to Janelle. Looking at the ground I asked here if she would be my valentine, to which she took the flowers out of my hand, threw them on the ground and spit on them and declared, "No Drew Forester I would never want to be your Valentine!"

The other break ups were more complicated, but to me that one was the second I learned I would never understand why girls are always so mean. From that came a great friendship with Janelle in High School and every year she would apologize for her actions that day. I still feel burned to this day, but atleast now I have a hotter Valentine and a cute little girl to be my valentine.

Breaking Up

Breaking up is hard to do! 

Sometimes relationships don't work out - and sometimes it is hard to say what we really mean.  This was funny - hope you enjoy it.

Write in and share your breakup story!

askanabellehere@gmail.com

http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=23695&fb_source=message

His First Kiss

Dear Anabelle,

My first kiss seems pretty sketchy when I talk about, and you know what? It might be.

So, I summer was coming to an end and I just graduated from high school (yeah yeah I got my first a little late in the game). I was putting in my mission papers soon and kind of worried that I was going to leave with my virgin lips. I was on my way home when I got a call from my best friend (and crush at the time) who was staying at her aunt's house at the time.

"Hey, my aunt is gone for a couple of days, wanna come over tonight?"

Yeah, I know what this sounds like. Anyway, I trusted her, and the chance to spend time alone with a girl that I liked a lot seemed like those moments I live for.

So I get to her place around 9:30 and she's very excited to see me. Moreover, she's prepared strawberries with chocolate fondu. Yup, strawberries. And chocolate fondu. Now, if I had the knowledge I have now, I would have seen the signs, but in my mind I was saying "I love strawberries!"

After a while we went and rented Mr. and Mrs. Smith... HA! This is funny just typing it. She picked the movie, I had never seen it. Went back to her place and watched the movie. Didn't cuddle though... she probably would have had I made a move, but remember I never had luck with a girl before now.

Afterwards her and I just talked into the night until about 4 A.M. Driving home wasn't going to be such a good idea since I lived almost an hour away and I was tired, so she convinced me to stay in the guest room. Mind you, she'd stayed the night at my house before, so I figured what the heck.

And then it just happened, naturally, beautifully, awesomely. I kissed her and she kissed me. It was a little more than a peck, but not enough to be a prolonged kiss of 2 seconds.

I jumped up and down on the guest bed right after...hehe. Come on, you would too if you'd waited 19 years and finally got the kiss from the girl you always wanted to kiss.

Albeit I got, like, 4 hours of sleep, boy did I sleep well. You see, I had the opportunity to kiss other girls, but I was waiting for a memorable first, and I got it.

Love,
The Sketchy Kisser

Carmax Kiss

Great "FIRST KISS" stories turned in everyone!

The WINNER is Carmax Kiss. More stories are to come . . .

I had my first kiss when I was 14. That should be a red flag right there.

We had been "dating" (by dating I mean looking at each other awkwardly in public without acknowledging the other and then later holding hands under a blanket without saying a word) for two months.

Man, I thought it was love.

Also, my friends had all kissed boys, so I figured I was ready (another red flag).

The day it happened it was my friend Katie's birthday party and I had curled my hair in hopes of a smooch. I remember going to the party and we said hello to each other and at one point talked for a whole five minutes in front of other people. Sparks were flying!

All the couples decided to go on a "walk" together with the birthday girl and her man. My beau and I tagged along and at the end of the block when everyone turned right, we turned left. We talked about basketball and how he had just seen Coach Carter and then I talked about Black Eyes Peas even though I hated them. I just really wanted to sound cool, ok? He held my hand and my little heart fluttered. This was it! Curling my hair had paid off!

We walked up to some horses and started petting them. One snapped at me and for a moment I thought I was to be an amputee instead of a "kiss-ee". So frightened I let out my most terrified scream. Let me just say that this scream is not a delicate one. It was deep like a fog horn. I think I scared him by that more than I was scared of the horse. Luckily he looked past it and I could tell this was the moment. This was when I was finally going to be a woman!

I closed my eyes and puckered my lips as best as I could. I had just slathered on about a pound of lip chap on my lips so I was sure they were going to be soft. I waited for this life changing moment.

Finally it happened... and he missed. Half on my nose and half on my upper lip I got a big slobbery 0.1 second kiss. Good thing he got a little bit of my lip and was able to taste my lip chap. "caramex?" he asked.

I said yes. He made a disgusted face and replied, "I don't really like caramex..."

My life is so romantic.

Cuddling

Dear Anabelle,

Cuddling.... I don't get it. I feel like girls cuddle with guys and vice versa whether or not they actually like them. I guess this goes for hooking-up too...but that's a different subject. Now, I'm a tactile guy and I'm not afraid to say that. I express emotion and love towards others through physical contact. But lately (and I mean since I got to BYU-I where I attend school) I've felt more and more nervous about touching people. I feel like many a time when I touch a girl, through a hug, touch on the arm, shoulder, etc., they are ever so slightly uncomfortable. Why? Psssh, I dunno. Well, I don't like making people feel uncomfortable, so I stop altogether. I become more reserved in all my physical contact that I make with others. Can't stand it really. Feel like I can't properly express myself.

What kills me though is I feel like I'm the only one with this problem (I know that's not true, but it's how I feel). I see roommates and friends cuddling up on the couch like it's nothing, or holding hands. You get my point.

At the risk of sounding creepy (I swear I'm always running this risk in written and spoken word), I miss physically cuddling with someone, or holding hands, or throwing my arms around someone. I don't want to have to have a girlfriend to get this. I'm not looking for a friend with benefits..... actually that's not entirely true, I guess everything I listed above is a benefit. I just don't mean friends with benefits like hooking-up and all.

So what are the rules for physical contact? Do I really have to put my arm around a girl's shoulder and get rejected to know that she doesn't want to be touched in that way? Or is there a way to tell before hand?

Sincerely,

Open arms and nothing to fill them

Dear Open Arms,

The best way to tell if a girl wants to be touched is if she touches you. I am not talking about a brush of shoulders or elbow bump. A girl will let you know she is open to physical contact by touching you with her hand. That is a sure sign she would not reject a handhold or arm around the shoulder. Now do not get ahead of yourself and jump to cuddling on the couch just because she put her hand on your back for three seconds. Test the waters and take it slow. Girls often have boundaries and you have to find out what they are. Sometimes you find out real quick and she will back off. Rejection happens.

Girls base their relationships on trust and physical contact most often follows once you have earned her trust. If you are afraid of being rejected by holding her hand, then use words. Use words of admiration. Words can really help a girl understand what your intentions are and make her comfortable. She will either reciprocate with words of admiration as well or a slight touch with her hand. If she is uncomfortable, more often than not she will reply with polite words instead of shutting you down.

It is obvious that physical touch is important to you and you expressed you show emotion and love through touch. You can continue to show how you value physical touch by being selective with the girls you wish to hold hands with and cuddle with. If you are doing those things with every girl you go out with, word will get out and the most important girl could slip away. And believe me, word spreads easily at BYU-Idaho.

Most importantly, remember to be kind and respect a girl’s wish. If she does not want to be touched, do not get upset. You can still have a great evening. If she is open to getting closer, take it slow. She will appreciate you even more for treating her with respect.

Tried and truly yours,

Anabelle

What was your FIRST KISS like?

What was your  
first kiss 
like?


Only 2 days left to share!   


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