Should I ask out a woman just because she is pretty?

Dear Anabelle,

I have recently become single and have noticed a lot of attractive women around campus that I would like to get to know a little better. Maybe even date a few of them.

After reflecting on my previous dating life, I've noticed that though I am great at connecting with a woman with whom I already have a relationship, I'm not so great at generating conversation out of thin air. Though my close friends would disagree, I can be quite shy around people I haven't built trust with previously.

I admit that a little shyness is natural, but I want to change up my game since other tactics I've tried have not really worked and this path seems to be the one that has worked best for my friends.

Is it appropriate to meet women just because I think they're pretty? How should I go about approaching women that I don't know yet?

-Befuddled and alone

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Dear Befuddled and alone,

There is wisdom in "changing up your game" and looking to the success of others, however you should make sure you are comfortable in your approach to dating. What works for some may not work for you. With that being said, change might be just what you are needing right now.

If you feel comfortable in approaching pretty woman in hopes of a friendship or relationship, start scoping out your future prospects. It is flattering to a woman to find out (later on) a guy approached her because he thought she was pretty. If the woman tells you otherwise, she is lying. All women want to feel beautiful.

One of the most important things to consider when choosing a mate is attraction. Men and women are different. Understanding these differences between the sexes can be complicated. But here is one difference you already know. Men see a pretty girl and she is entered into the "possibility" category. They see a girl they are not physically attracted to and think, "just friends."  

When a woman sees an attractive guy, she thinks of other things which sometimes sends the guy running in the other direction. A woman wants a guy that is handsome, kind, listens, makes her laugh and makes her feel like the most important person in the world.

Both sexes want to be with someone they are attracted to, but attraction can encompass much more than physical appearance.

There is nothing wrong with you asking a woman out because you think she is pretty.

Just remember that pretty isn't everything on the list of reasons of attraction. Having maturity, talents, knowledge, passion, kindness, loyalty and respect makes a woman far more attractive than her body or her face.

You need to be attracted to the woman you date or your relationship with suffer.

Be fair. Not everyone is a tall, drop dead gorgeous super model. In my experience most of those are not the kind of woman you want to share your life with. Find a woman you think is beautiful and continue to add reasons why she is "your drop dead gorgeous." By doing this, you will find the pretty girl and keep her too.


Tried and truly yours,
Anabelle